The problem is that I can't love Yahweh, any more than I could love my dad.
I spent my entire childhood, and a huge chunk of my adulthood, literally knowing that when I die, I will burn in agony forever. That's a long time to work up a grudge, as I spent my days horrified by what lay in front of me.
So now I have a problem: I don't think I can make myself love Yahweh. I've spent too much time imagining myself screaming in agony with no escape. And during this time I've developed some strange sympathies. Hitler, for example. Spending all that time next to him writhing in agony sort of gave me a soft spot for him. It made me think that maybe nobody at all deserves to suffer forever. Maybe not even Hitler. Maybe he just needs a few billion kicks in the rear-end and then we all figure out what went wrong and try to repair things.
Some other weird thoughts took root at about that time. Like maybe the whole idea of eternal torture is immoral. Like maybe, when I really look at it, I can't figure out how to fit hell into the idea of a loving god. You can see where all this leads. I really just think that Yahweh is immoral. Evil. And the problem is that I don't know how to change that. I don't know how to reconcile a hideous torture with a god of love, so I have to decide that he's not a god of love at all, but something really ugly.
Still, I'm terrified of him, because he is the boss. And that brings me back to my main point: I hate him, but here I am, publicly begging him for mercy. If he would just allow me to cease to exist, it would seem a beautiful sign of his love. What do you think, Yahwists? Will he do it? Give me a break for having such a twisted childhood that I couldn't really break free from? Allow me just to die, to cease to exist? Please say yes. I am begging. Really.
Best answer, posted by "Josh3":
God is a Loving God and full of mercy.
So it's ok that Christianity is really just a form of sado-masochism. God is a torturer but loving and full of mercy, just like my dad. Exactly like my dad. How is God different from my dad? He's the biggest and strongest, and that's all. They're morally identical.