My dad tortured me. That's the root of it all. He tortured me and sexually molested me, but then he would say that he loved me. He wanted my love in return. I begged him for mercy sometimes. Ok, I never actually begged for mercy. I just screamed my head off. That's sort of the same as begging. I hate him. I can never love him. I did fear him for a long time, and I sort of still do, although he's dead now.
Someone tell me how I can separate Yahweh from this man. Yahweh tortures people (or will eventually, and I'm talking about hell in case you don't see it). You simply cannot say that Yahweh is omnipotent and at the same time say that hell isn't his fault, or that it's the choice of the people who are there. There are loads of people who believe Shinto just as firmly as you believe Christianity, and they're not bad people. They're not wrong. They don't deserve hell, any more than I, as an 11-year-old boy, deserved that torture.
Hopefully you can see how preposterous it is to suggest that in order to heal my relationship with that man, I start by praying to him (begging him) to help me to love him. I feel like vomiting just typing that sentence. But surely you can see that Yahweh, in my mind, is that man. I cannot love that god, I simply can't, and you Christians of all people are supposed to be able to show some compassion about that.
All I get from you are these glib answers about how I should pray (beg my sadist dad), or worse, that you and your god have already given me everything I need and I just need to ponder it. Please. I'm 43 years old. I'm very smart. I'm a physicist and an evolutionary biologist. I've done nothing BUT ponder this for 30 years, ever since my dad first told me that I will burn in agony forever. I've come up with nothing in 30 years. That's why I'm begging you people. It has occurred to me that perhaps the intellect, rational thinking, isn't the answer, as I've been trying it for so long. That's another reason I'm here: you guys turn off your rational thinking in order to turn on faith, a different kind of thinking. Is there an answer somewhere in your faith? And please, don't tell me to turn around and hug Yahweh, that's gross, and it will just show me that you haven't even bothered to read this.
Now I'm having PTSD-like symptoms due to the horrifying images that are coming to my mind from 30 years ago. Some of those images are directly from your god. Images of myself screaming in agony. You know, people being burned by fire don't writhe. "Writhe" sounds slow, like you might writhe if you have a stomach ache. In fire, you don't writhe. You flail. And you scream. And you can't breathe, because you breathe in fire. You can't really even scream. It comes out as a raw croak. you can never really catch a breath. Disturbing, disturbing.
Come on, Christians, don't you have anything real? Your god is supposedly the biggest one on the block. Does he really have so little to offer that after spending all night begging you guys for the tiniest shred of wisdom and compassion all I can get is "stop whining and pray about it"?
Think I don't have a question? That's because you lack compassion. The obvious question is this: isn't there some way that I could get a special dispensation from Yahweh? Can't he see that my mind is broken? That it is impossible for me to love him? Is it really too much trouble to ask that I be allowed to cease to exist when I die, rather than burning in agony for all eternity?
Best answer, posted by "Light and Truth":
We believe that you will not be in the same place as your ..... ug, father. The next life is glorious beyond description, more than you can ever hope for. You will be around those you feel comfortable with. And this is not even the final place or "heaven".
Wow. Mainstream Christians consider Mormons to be, at the least, brothers in error, and at the worst, a manifestation of the Antichrist. Well, Mainstreamers, this Mormon has outdone you for compassion. Screw your theology and its dark labyrinth. Give me compassion any day. Sorry, L&T, I can't love Yahweh, and he's your god too. But your kindness is worth far more than anything Yahweh or your spiritual siblings have ever offered. Thanks.