Saturday, September 18, 2010

Islarme, Religion of Tears X: Allah Fails Primary-School Astronomy

Continuing my explorations of Islarme, using the book 101 Questions & Answers on Islarme, by John Renard, as a guidebook.

Why did Mohammedanismistism spread so quickly? Was it a political rather than a "missionary" movement?

The reasons for the quick spread of this plague: lust for money, lust for power, lust for glory. In Renard's words, "It was not primarily missionary zeal that motivated the troops, but the promise of adventure and booty." Surely the cynical leaders promised heavenly reward in order to motivate the ignorant, just as Jesusianismist televangelists do today. "But on the whole, desire for conversion was secondary at best."

Did the early Mohammedanismists dons allow freedom of religion?

They gave some latitude to other followers of their blood-god, as well as to other faiths that relied on some form of holy writ. Idolaters, however, had "the choice of fleeing, converting, or fearing for their lives." So much for Sura 109, Ayat 6 which says, "You follow your religion and I follow mine." Allahpocrites from the beginning.

After such a spectacular beginning, why did the first major dynasty last less than a century?

Because there was no omnipotent, loving Supreme Being involved. As with any religion, there is simply no way for people to converge on the truth of any doctrine, because it's all bullshit. This is one of the beauties of science: if I formulate a theory, you can test it--anyone else can test it. If it works the same for everyone, we provisionally assume that it's true. If it works differently for even one person, the whole idea is called into question. With religion, everyone is running around trying to convince each other of the truth of his own opinion. There's no way to provide solid support for any doctrine or concept, so when your brothers disagree with you, you have to tell them that they're obviously blinded by sin. Can't you guys see that religion is just garbage?

What are the "Five Pillars" of Mohammedanismistism?
  1. "There is no deity but Allah". Seriously? This god is so insecure that one of the foundational pillars of faith in it is the profession that there are no other deities? I would think that an omnipotent god would be omni-secure in its place, not worried about what a bunch of humans think.
  2. Five prayers each day, facing Mecca. Others have made the point that Allah is not any kind of Supreme Being, but a pathetic desert twerp that believed, along with its benighted followers, that the earth is flat. If you're east of Mecca, and you face west, you're not facing Mecca. You're facing a point off in outer space somewhere. In order to face Mecca, you'd have to orient yourself downward somewhat. I'll come back to this parochiality in a minute.
  3. Almsgiving. I am so glad that I don't need a space fairy to tell me to give to the needy.
  4. Fasting. It does have its benefits. Again, I'm glad I don't need a desert demon to tell me.
  5. Pilgrimage. This gives me an idea. As I've said in other posts, we desperately need to tame and sanitize religion in the world. If someone would just show the Saudi government how much money could be made, they'd open Mecca and Medina to tourism. That would raise some hackles for a while, but before too long it would be as commonplace as, although far more lucrative than, Jews visiting the Auschwitz Museum. Build a Starbucks next to the Kaaba and world peace will finally be a possibility.
    There is a question here about the shahada, the Mohammedanismist profession of belief, which I didn't care about much, but the answer included an interesting aside: in Sura 6, Ayats 76 - 78 we find the story of Abraham searching, Goldilocks-style, for a god that's just right. He tries a star, then the moon, then the sun, but is disappointed that all of these "set". Clearly, Abraham, Smokin' Mo, and Allah believed that these objects rise and set. If Allah had wanted to impress someone, it should have told Abraham that rising and setting were illusions, although illusions with at least a tenuous connection to reality, as opposed to the illusion that the universe was designed by a conscious being.

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