Islarme, Religion of Tears VIII: But Pastafarianism Was Written in Their Hearts

Special thanks to blogger Citizen Warrior for permitting me to borrow heavily from the September 10, 2010 post to the blog called Defeat The Third Jihad, written by Dr Samuel Blumenfeld.

In 1786, Thomas Jefferson, then the U.S. ambassador to France, and John Adams, then the U.S. ambassador to Britain, met in London with the Tripolitan ambassador to Britain. American merchant ships had been captured by the Muslarme pirates from the coastal nations of North Africa, and their crews and passengers imprisoned. They could be freed only by the payment of large ransoms.

For centuries, Islarmic hoodlums had cruised the Mediterranean Sea, capturing ships and taking prisoners, forcing non-Islarmic nations to pay tribute for freedom of passage. To avoid such confrontations, some nations were willing to appease the gangsters by signing agreements for annual tribute. The pirates also raided coastline villages and took prisoners. The reason why so many Greek coastal villages were built up in the hills was to provide protection against the depredations of these thugs. They enslaved millions of Africans and thousands of Europeans and Americans, killed many older men and women, kidnapped young women and children to be sold as concubines, and often castrated boys for use in harems and as servants.

Jefferson and Adams asked the ambassador why Muslarmes held such hostility toward the U.S., a nation with which they had had no previous contacts. The answer was that “It was written in their Koran that all nations which had not acknowledged the Prophet were sinners, whom it was the right and duty of the faithful to plunder and enslave; and that every mussulman who was slain in this warfare was sure to go to [P]aradise.”

The pragmatic Americans wanted to negotiate a peace treaty with these lowlifes, having determined that a treaty would be cheaper than war. What they obtained instead were flimsy tribute agreements with several of these gangster-states, all of which at least once reneged on their promises. The Pasha of Tripoli was especially bold: after receiving the lawfully negotiated tribute from the U.S., he claimed that the payment had been only for initiating peace between the two nations, but more was required for maintaining the peace.

Jefferson purchased a copy of the Qur'an to learn more about the religion of tears and piracy practiced by these hooligans. He learned of the superstitious lunacy and irrationality that motivated the Muslarmes willing to die as martyrs for Smokin' Mo. When he became President, he resolved to repel force by force. Within days of his inauguration, Jefferson ordered four warships to sail to the North African Coast and blockade and attack any Barbary State that was at war with the U.S. The Barbary War was the first foreign war fought and won by the newly independent United States, and the reprobates were kept at bay for over a century.

Incidentally, the war officially ended with the Treaty of Tripoli, in which Article 11 states, "the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion". Some theocrats in this country try to support their claims that the U.S. is a Jesusianismist nation by pointing out that Article 11 was never translated into Arabic. I find that quite beside the point: official records show that in 1797, the entire treaty, including Article 11, was read aloud (in English) on the floor of the U.S. Senate, and copies were printed for every Senator. The Senate unanimously ratified the treaty with 339 votes. Further, according to a 2008 article in the periodical The Nation, "the treaty was printed in the Philadelphia Gazette and two New York papers, with no evidence of any public dissent." I'd like to know why it took Jesusianismists so long to start claiming that this is a Jesusianismist country, why they didn't start shouting as soon as this treaty was made known to the public. Possibly because at that time, no one disputed the non-religious foundation of our government?

For details, see:
http://dttj.blogspot.com/2010/09/thomas-jeffersons-quran.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Tripoli
http://www.citizenwarrior.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Blumenfeld