How do you deal with it when you realize that no one hears you? You can't even find their ears. You shout and shout, and they finally glance up and you try to sign and mouth words, but their gaze doesn't pause; they didn't see you; they were looking past you at something in the distance. What do you tell yourself to explain the darkness, the trampling feet that never slow, never veer from their path over your body, no matter how much you cry out for help, for mercy. Why do you allow your heart to keep beating? Why do you bother to take that next breath?
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Never think you are alone. I have heart-wrenching bouts of loneliness at times, too. I have never really thought about suicide, but these are my thoughts:
ReplyDeleteLive because you must. Because life is worth living for those few precious moments when you KNOW peace and love and joy. Even when I get sick, I know that it hurts because I was so used to being not sick and I keep breathing and drinking water and blowing my nose because "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." If we tell ourselves that no one loves us and no one needs the love we can give them and leave whenever we feel we're ready, we are simply being selfish. Live not for yourself, but for those around you.