Pseudepigrapha Psalad Psurgery VIII: First John

Chapter 1

• Verse 10: "If we claim we have not sinned, we make [God] out to be a liar..." See also Chapter 5, Verse 10: "Anyone who does not believe God has made [it] out to be a liar..." God needs no such help from us. It lies, or sends lying spirits, or sends powerful delusions, without hesitation.

Chapter 2

• Verse 18: "...even now many antichrists have come." Count me in!

Chapter 3

• Verse 21 - 22: "...if our hearts do not condemn us, we...receive from [God] anything we ask..." So all those Jesusianismist parents over the centuries who have asked God in vain to let their children survive horrible illness--their hearts condemned them, right? For some sort of sexual immorality, I'm sure.

Chapter 4

• Verses 1 - 2: "...do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits...this is how you can recognize the spirit of god: every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God." Then why are there so many denominations? With all of you acknowledging Christ, shouldn't you be in perfect agreement? And how does this claim fit with James 2:19: "Even the demons believe that [there is one God]--and shudder"? Isn't it also true that demons acknowledge that Jesus has come in the flesh? See Mark 5:7, where the demon known as Legion sees Jesus in the flesh and acknowledges him as the Son of Yahweh.
• Verse 6: "...whoever knows God listens to us...this is how we recognize the spirit of truth..." Isn't that convenient? Strange thing is, leaders in every denomination say this kind of thing. Why does the spirit of truth disagree with itself so much? Is it schizophrenic?
• Verses 8 and 16: Drowning babies is an act of love. Slaughtering children is an act of love. Burning people in eternal agony is an act of love.
• Verse 12: "No one has ever seen God". This is probably the last chance I'll get to show that even the authors of the bible never believed that Jesus is Yahweh.
• Verse 18: "There is no fear in love...perfect love drives out fear..." What? Yahweh is forever going on about how everyone needs to be utterly terrified of it. Jesus too: See Psalm 2:12: "Kiss the son, lest he become angry and destroy you".

Chapter 5

• Verse 3: God's "commands are not burdensome." I used to know a guy who was a devout Jesusianismist, who sought Jesus with all his energy, but who was also very gay. He struggled terribly. He even tried having a girlfriend for a while, hoping that she might stir something in him, but he just could not make himself be aroused by her. He was miserable. Probably still is. If that's not burdensome, then I don't know what is.
• Verse 7: I'll quote from the King James Version here, since it does seem to be a popular version still: "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one." Proof of the doctrine of the Trinity, right? But get this: early manuscripts stop at "...in heaven", not mentioning any oneness. This Trinity stuff is not present in any Greek manuscript before the sixteenth century. Oops.